Hi Paridhi,
I want to start by thanking everyone for all the wonderful information they provide here. Especially the mothers of older children who share their support and helps us to understand the importance of making our children feel positive and confident about who they are. Everyone is different in some way or some how.
My son David who is now almost 1 1/2 years old was born with left hand symbrachydactyly. Meaning, his left hand is about 30-40% smaller than his right and his index, middle and ring fingers were webbed and significantly smaller than normal. His index finger is the most affected. This finger is the smallest, but both his middle and index finger have limited finger joint movement. The nail on the index finger is also abnormal (hard and shaped like a "V"). Davids thumb appears normal.
The irony of this story is that my son was born to a mother who spends her day as a pediatric occupational therapist, specializing children with hand dysfunction. I don't win the lottery but we did become part of the 1 in 40,000 family odds of being born with this congenital abnormality, go figure. Being an OT who sees children with various disabilities on a daily basis did not make my journey in this world any easier, if anything it made it that much harder. I'm happy to say that after about 4-5 months I found a way to stop mourning the fact that my son was a little difference and just love him for the amazing, sweet and charming little man that he is.
At three months we went to a hand surgeon I trusted and developed a short term plan to address the webbing, web space deeping and possible surgery to correct the curvature in his pink. It was scarey, but shortly after his first birthday, David had his first 4 hour hand surgery to remove the webbing and deepen the space between each finger alittle bit to increase his finger function. Now, do I think the surgery was worth it for David Yes, very much so. Since the surgery, I've notice a huge difference in his ability to use left hand while playing with small manipulatives, put coins in a bank or while picking up small cheerios. At 3-5 years old he will have pins put in his pink to minimize the curvature of the bones in that finger. None of these surgerys will change the appearance, just his function and future comfort.
Everyday I remind myself that children find ways to adapt to anything. It's all they know, and for them, thats what normal is. He's my advice as an OT: keep in mind that in life -- the majority of the time you are using your non dominant hand as an assist. Meaning, a way to hold something while your dominant hand does the manipulating (ie. hold paper while writing, hold a container while opening). Life skills like shoe tying, typing and buttoning can all be adapted to make life a little easier if need be. Not every child will benefit from surgery. Perhaps you can try to seek out various opinion on what your options are. God Bless all of you and thank you all for sharing your stories. I can not express how much it has helped me over the past 18 months!
Nancy
